Taking a cue from another website, I, Mr Tar Heel, have come up with the
ACC Wonderlic Test
( a test designed for fans and players to test their understanding of the ACC )
1. The Duke football program hires Coach Cutcliffe, paints the restrooms at Wallace Wade, hires a new athletic director, excites the fan base, and makes a renewed commitment to football. When will Coach Cutcliffe get fired?
a. Year 2
b. Year 4
c. Year 5
d. Year 1
2. Which number is higher?
a. The number of Clemson football players arrested this year
b. Ralph Freidgen's cholesterol level
c. The number of basketball players transfering FROM Duke
d. The number of players at Fla St involved in cheating scandals
3. In 2004, TA MClendon of NC State fumbled the ball on the last play to secure a UNC football victory. Which of the following is more unbelievable?
a. Pack fans whining about the supposed bad call.
b. Chuck Amato consistently losing to Coach Bunting
c. Coach Amato believing he should still be the NC State head coach
d. John Bunting believing he should still be the UNC head coach
4. In 2007, Riley Skinner, the QB for Wake Forest, had nude photos of himself released to the internet by a former girlfriend. Which of the following is true?
a. Riley now gets hit on a lot by Wake Forest college girls
b. Riley now gets hit on a lot by Wake Forest college boys
c. Riley has a new meaning for the “spread” offense
d. Riley was just running the “naked bootleg”
5. If a Fla State football player receives $25,000 from a booster, what should he do?
a. Hold out for more if the Lexus he wants costs $40,000
b. Do the responsible thing and invest the money in a health care mutual fund
c. Encourage team unity by buying new glocks for fellow teammates
d. Let Coach Bowden know and accept his punishment of running steps 2 days in a row
6. Which of the following is the most hideous?
a. the white sunglasses Chuck Amato used to wear
b. the worst looking cheerleader at Duke
c. the smell coming from under the bleachers at Carter-Finley
d. Sidney Lowe explaining why he can’t win as many games as Sendek
7. In 2008, an ACC football team will win their first 7 games and be ranked in the top 10. Then they will lose their remaining 5 games. What are the chances that Tommy Bowden retains his job at the end of the season?
a. 50%
b. 20%
c. 75%
d. 0%
8. Coach K has many former players and assistants who are now in the coaching profession. Which one should you not ask Coach K about?
a. Quin Snyder
b. Tommy Amaker
c. Pete Gaudet
9. Water freezes at 32 degrees Fahrenheit. Which of the following best describes when Hell freezes over?
a. when Duke football wins 5 games in a season
b. when NC State wins a national championship in football or basketball
c. when the University of Miami football players attend all their classes that day
d. when Gary Williams gets hired to do an anti-perspirant commercial
10. What is enormous, filled with hot air, and will be seen at Kenan Stadium this fall?
Charlie Weis
11. Which of the following jokes is most true?
a. What does a tornado and a Clemson cheerleader have in common? They both eventually end up in trailer parks.
b. What’s the difference between Cameron Indoor stadium and a porcupine? A porcupine has 8000 xxxxxx on the outside!
c. What’s the difference between an NC State cheerleader and a toilet bowl. The toilet bowl doesn’t follow you around for a week after you use it.
d. Why did the Va Tech grad buy a car? So he wouldn’t have to sit in the dirt anymore at the drive-in movie.
12. Four Miami Hurricanes players are driving in a car. Who's driving?
- The Police
13. A Clemson fan is 22 years old. His sister is half his age. How many years before they take their son to a Clemson football game?
a. 2
b. 3
c. 1
d. 4
Extra credit:
If Danny Ford is brought back to revive the Clemson football program, how many years of probation will the Tigers be facing when he leaves?
- thank you to the other ACC schools for providing the material that makes this test possible - remember, if you can't laugh at yourself, everyone else will.
MrTarheel.com
